Door to Door

I propose a National Do Not Knock Registry*. Five seconds ago I stood at my door, while a man asked me if I knew where the deaf person lived. He just happened to notice the deaf child sign, and gee, what do you know, he had something in sign language to give him or her.

WTF? I mean, huh?

(gettin' that cursing under control is proving to be more than a tad difficult)

I told him that I had no idea where anyone deaf lived.

Deaf people read. Not only do they read, but when they want information, they find it the same way that hearing folks do.

Oh, and with the use of videophones, they can call ANYONE.

BG often tells me, "We can do anything, except hear."


Do not think that I am picking on Jehovah's Witnesses. Yes, I am 99.9% certain this gentleman caller was visiting to impart religion. Just a hunch because he was neatly dressed, polite, and had a skirt wearing female companion. Either that, or criminals are becoming even craftier than I imagined.

If I want information about

I will find it on my own. DO NOT knock on my door.

Back to Jehovah's Witnesses.

I believe they really, really think I would benefit from their teachings.

This was evidenced on a gynecology table.

Yes, I was in stirrups, when a doctor asked me,

"Would you like to see your grandparents again?"

He did have the decency to remove the speculum as he started his explanation.

Part of me wanted to scream, "Just do the darn (proud of me?) pap smear!"

Instead, I asked questions.

Being that it has been six years since this fun took place, the details escape me.

EXCEPT for one thing.

Pretend I am kneeling in the corner near the Hostas
Maybe the kneeling position appeared to be an invitation for salvation
or maybe I just looked lost in my own yard.

In the past, when I have had discussions with Jehovah's Witnesses (Yes, years ago, while gardening, I struck up a conversation, asking bunches of questions, prompting many return visits), they seem to have always been converts from a Christian religion.


Nope, this man converted from Judaism.

I would like the statistics on the probability of Jews becoming Jehovah's Witnesses.
Want to wager that it is pretty low?

It gets weirder.

My friend, who had suggested this doctor, was completely astounded upon hearing of my experience. This doctor had delivered all three of her babies, not once mentioning religion.

There must be something about me that makes me a target.

I know, it is all done with good intentions, or in the case of roofers, window companies, and gardeners, with the hope of making a buck.

STILL, stay away from my door.

*Do Not Knock Registry


  1. I would totally sign up for that registry! Though I can't say I've ever encountered a door-to-door roofer, and hope I never will.

  2. What an interesting story. I could not imagine having that kind of conversation with my doctor while you know what was happening! I love your response that if you want info, you'll find it yourself. I am addicted to Google as well. Great post!!!

  3. I am all for that registry. I answer the door assuming any stranger is a criminal.

  4. They get on my nerves not because of their speaches but because they take their children with them sometimes toddlers ! Then I get angry and tell them that they should let their children play and not pray ! I had a deaf friend, when somebody rang the bell the light went on, so she could see that somebody was at the door.

  5. Don't have that problem out here in the middle of mountainous woods where I live ;0) Maybe you should come here instead of Fl? ;)

  6. I had to laugh at your Dr experience - what a prat he must have been!! I had a friend who went for her smear and the Dr asked her if she minded holding the overhead lamp for him because the extension arm was broken, but your experience beats that hands down!! I want to add to the 'Do not Knock' campaign a 'Do not Phone my House' campaign - for the same reason! It used to be 'do you want to borrow money.... or participate in a survey.....' or somesuch nonsense. I am soooooo tempted to have our house line disconnected. Anyone who I want to contact me has my mobile number!!

    And for the record I think you just must have your internal 'weirdo-magnet' set too high. The settings are sensitive, so you might need them adjusted down a little - then they should leave you alone!! Works for family too!

    Fiona x

  7. You have my sympathy. I am like a walking magnet for these people too.
    That was the funniest post I have read in a long time. Especially the part about your doctor. Sheesh!
    I know what you mean about antique dolls. My mil has one and my 16 yr old daughter claims it is "creepy." She says if she inherits it she will yard sale it. :)

  8. Hey, I just saw a post where someone made a cute homemade sign stating,"NO SOLICITORS!" (however you spell it) You could also add AND NO OBNOXIOUS PEOPLE TOO!! But hey, maybe you are a magnet or something. Must say, this was just downright funn!!

  9. Funny, Lisa..thanks for stopping by to see me!

  10. 1) Put a NO SOLICITING sign on the door

    2) Install a doorbell that has a barking dog "ring" (yes, there is such a thing--email me for the link!)

    3) Get on the DO NOT CALL list

    4) Get caller id

    5) If someone approaches/accosts you in public, sneeze on them and tell them you have a communicable disease.

    6) If above suggestions fail, move to a deserted island.

    It sounds like you've encountered the cream of the crop....
    ps Are you *sure* you missed me? LOL!

  11. Hi Lisa
    I am astounded by what happened with your doctor. I would have had to complain about that.
    Sorry to hear you are being bothered by callers. My advice would be to look out of an upstairs window and if you don't know them do not answer the door unless of course they are delivering a package or a bunch of flowers!!!
    I have enjoyed catching up with your blog today.